Starbucks Invades Chicago

In a column that rivals the best of The Onion, The Beachwood Reporter has a hilarious listing of where they believe Starbucks will plunk down their reported 250 additional locations in the city of Chicago. It had me laughing out loud. Some references are inside jokes best appreciated by Chicagoans.

Some of my favorites:

47. Tired of the concessions competition from the
elotes carts, Starbucks launches their own “caffelotes” carts featuring
corn on the cob with a chai-mocha-latte mayonaisse.

143. Cubs dugout, to wake them up.

144. Starbuckingham Fountain.

154. The Bean renamed The Colombia Narino Supremo Bean, Only At Starbucks.

159. Creepy-ass Harry Caray statue in front of Wrigley
Field spews espresso from his outstretched hand; steamed milk flows
from the dessicated demon-child faces clustered around his knees.

And you know they’d do it if given half the chance.

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