Tweets I Never Sent

Before I knew whether or not I would be blogging, Tweeting or Facebooking my recent medical misadventures, I decided to keep a running list of the Tweets I might have sent as a kind of journal as I went along. Now that the word is out, I thought I’d post them here.

Monday, March 15

I thought taking a walk was supposed to be good for your health. Thirty minutes in, my cell phone rings with the news.

You know it’s never good news when the doctor calls you with lab results while he’s on vacation.

Get out of the car for your walk by the lake as one person. Get back in the car another.

Beware the Ides of March.

Too many unknowns: JD, insurance, vacation, BRCA testing, one procedure vs. another. One step at a time. I concentrate on what’s for dinner.

2010  Lost my job. Check. Cancer. Check. Can’t take the vacation I’ve been saving for and planning for and anticipating for a year? Adding insult to injury.

Wednesday, March 17

For someone who doesn’t use mouthwash on a regular basis, swishing Scope for 30 seconds twice for the BRAC test sample is a real challenge.

Thursday, March 18

The hardest part about an MRI for me isn’t claustrophobia, it’s trying to stay awake.

I try to use reverse sleep psychology by counting down the minutes of each section of the scan to stay awake. It only makes me realize I’m dropping off.

Apparently I could sleep through a jack hammer directed at my head for close to an hour.

About halfway through the test I realize I’m bored. Too bad you can’t have reading material in here.

Tuesday, March 23

What is the point of my writing down my SSN so I’m not saying it out loud if you’re going to say it out loud as you type it into the computer?

I’m remembering now what I hate most about hospitals–even more than the smell–the damned mindless televisions on in every waiting room. Absolutely no way I can read in here.

Friday, March 26

The only thing worse than starting your weekend off with an uncomfortable medical procedure is to come home and find that the uncomfortable medical procedure you’ll be ending the weekend with isn’t covered by your insurance. And there’s no way to follow up on it until Monday morning.


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